my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
