His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
