So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
