With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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