dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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