I CAN MOONWALK!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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