talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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