Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
