I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
