so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
