Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
