doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
