her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
