Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
