...so i touched it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
