Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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