i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
