im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
