I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
