I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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