I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
