Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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