I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
