what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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