Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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