ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
