Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
