I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
