Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
