He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize