My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
