yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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