Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize