okay pat passed out under dana's car
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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