you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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