good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
