The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize