you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
