i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
