Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
