Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I could fuck to npr.
Sext me about skeletons
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
