all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
