True but thats because hes a fetus.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We are two peas in an std pod
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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