I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
