Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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