plz talk dirty to me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
