This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
