i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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