he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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