you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
