ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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