its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its about making memories worth repressing
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
