haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
