i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
