WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
