Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
