I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize