would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
