I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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