brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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