yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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