i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.