I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
