Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
